You survived. Now what?

I work with LGBTQIA+ folks, queer women and non-binary adults in their 30s and 40s who are struggling with anxiety and the impact of painful childhood experiences. I help my clients practice rest, feel more comfortable in their bodies, and learn to trust pleasure, joy, and safety. 

My clients' struggles match yours: They're cycle breakers. They are thoughtful friends, community members, loving parents, or successful at work. They're smart, kind, and creative. So why is life still so hard?

When my clients first come to therapy, life feels like a never-ending to-do list. They can get shit done (and do it well!) at work or at home, but believe that in order to “earn” rest, they must check off a certain number of productive tasks per day. And when they convince themselves to try and rest, their minds are so busy with thoughts about what they need to do next that rest winds up feeling exhausting. Living with chronic stress without the ability to rest takes a toll and my clients often have a hard time with sleeping, preparing and enjoying food, feeling safe during intimacy, and getting through the day without experiencing body pain and tension.

My clients have worked hard to build a life and a chosen family that is very different from the one they grew up in. They are (or want to be) a part of a supportive community. Spending time with chosen family and helping others be fully themselves fills their cup. They’ve spent time discovering their values and are trying hard to live a life that expresses those values. But the idea that it could all come crashing down tomorrow is never very far away. They’re holding this beautiful life together with a handful of routines and rituals to keep the anxiety manageable. But day to day they still struggle -- with perfectionism, over-working, over-thinking, and a whole lot of physical pain. 

Resting and slowing down feel impossible. There’s too much work to do. And even in the most joyful moments, they are burdened with a voice that says “What if I mess this up too?”

Many of my clients hold identities or life experiences that put them in the middle or lead them to feel like outsiders. They may identify as Biracial or non-binary. They may be eldest daughters with emotionally immature parents or adult children of emotionally immature parents. Many of them are neuro-divergent and working hard to exist in systems not made for them. They may be queer people raised in high control religions who are curious about connecting with spirituality on their own terms. I have a special interest in working with bisexual woman and non-binary adults who are in straight-passing relationships. Many of them grew up in difficult socioeconomic circumstances and have worked hard for social and financial stability in adulthood.

When my clients first come in, they are ready for something to change, but they don’t know which string to pull first and they’re damn sure tired of pulling all of them. They’ve gotten so used to problem solving, making it work, and putting one foot in front of the other that they’ve forgotten how to slow down and enjoy the fruits of their labor. They may have spent a lot of life figuring things out on their own – and doing an okay job of it! But they’ve become experts at solving problems, not at enjoying life. 

Like my clients, you deserve a life that lets you truly rest. 

Having an easy relationship with pleasure, safety, and joy is not out of your reach. 

If you want to live in a world where it’s okay to trust yourself, I’d love to help you get there. 

Reach out now. Rest, peace, and joy are possible. I can help.